Just over a year ago, I hit a wall and an epiphany at the same time. Previously, like most people with herpes, I had approached herpes with the alternating depression that I would have to disclose and the fear of being rejected. After 35 years with the virus though, I had finally figured out a few things:
- That rejection was not about me.
- That most people are woefully ignorant not only about herpes, but STD facts in general so their reaction told me a lot about who THEY were and whether I really wanted them in my life anyway.
- That I wasn’t ashamed of having herpes.
- That I no longer wanted to hide in a closet of shame and fear.
- That I wanted to just be my fully authentic self.
- That I was tired of the stigma.
Continue reading Dating Online: My Personal Experience With Being Out and Proud
Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken. Jane Austen
I went on a date this last weekend with a gentleman who I met on an online dating site for people with Herpes and other STD’s. It’s sort of ironic that this potential partner is H+ because I really don’t pay much attention to that dating site and I’m much more active on the “regular” dating sites like POF and OKC, and because I counsel the newly diagnosed all the time about not limiting yourself to H+ potential partners. Suffice it to say that in the last few years of dating, I’ve only dated 2 H+ guys. So normally the “Disclosure” conversation at the top of the list is about Herpes. Why do I say “Top of the list”? Because I had a huge revelation last night around a conversation that I had with this man about online dating profiles. Continue reading Disclosure: It’s Not Just About Herpes