Just over a year ago, I hit a wall and an epiphany at the same time. Previously, like most people with herpes, I had approached herpes with the alternating depression that I would have to disclose and the fear of being rejected. After 35 years with the virus though, I had finally figured out a few things:
- That rejection was not about me.
- That most people are woefully ignorant not only about herpes, but STD facts in general so their reaction told me a lot about who THEY were and whether I really wanted them in my life anyway.
- That I wasn’t ashamed of having herpes.
- That I no longer wanted to hide in a closet of shame and fear.
- That I wanted to just be my fully authentic self.
- That I was tired of the stigma.
Continue reading Dating Online: My Personal Experience With Being Out and Proud
Sometimes the things we cannot change, end up changing us
Awhile back, one of the members of the Herpes Life Forum wrote this beautiful passage:
At one point or another, we are forced to confront our authentic selves. For a while we can try on different masks, goof around, fake it. We dabble in this and that, float here and there, even if it doesn’t agree with what’s in our soul. Eventually, though, something happens that snaps us awake, tells us to stop fucking around, and brings us back down. Makes us honestly question ourselves.
No more do I have the luxury of sleeping with whoever finds me attractive. My sexuality is no longer a curtain that I can hide behind, no longer a “fall back” for feeling insecure (or worse, bored). I have been forced to face myself- the raw, ugly, vulnerable part of myself. I have had to find value in the parts that I kept hidden, to become aware of things I did not want to become aware of. Continue reading Finding Your Authentic Self With Herpes